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IS MARRIAGE A NECESSARY MEDICINE?

Let’s face it, marriage has become a very out of Vogue institution both in Europe and the USA over the years, however, is this still true?

Credit: photo by Marco Sangiorgi

Covid has made many people envious of those who have the company of a partner. Being at home with him or her, as part of a real family, a structure very similar to that of one year ago which has now become, unfortunately, a very dangerous world. A similar situation as when monogamy didn’t look so boring when HIV came out in the ’80s.

Now it is more about the time to share, laugh, enjoy delicious homemade meals, and have more of a focus on our partners. Unfortunately, in the past few years, many have preferred to acquire a fancy dog, such as the last fashion breed, the Bernedoodle.

Credit: Speaky magazine

The choice went from several one-night stands, with the gorgeous unknown at the bar, or buying the latest expensive model of a famous sports car. They preferred the glitz of life rather than spending it on kids care, dentists, and starting to save for the children’s education.

To understand better what happened let’s go back in the centuries and take a look at marriage in ancient Greece and Rome.

First statement: In Antiquity marriage never was about love, or at best a super small percentage of it was.

Roman marriage
Credit: photo by Mary Harrsch  November 2012

Second statement: To be single wasn’t an option. Exceptions to the rule were rare as the life of Sappho. Sappho was the most renowned poet in antiquity, like Homer, however, her style was poetry. Born in the city of Mytilene on the Greek island of Lesbos, off the coast of Turkey in the late 7th Century BC. She was a rare example of diversity because of her incredible skills as a poet and because she is considered the first Lesbian as her poems were mostly inspired by a love for another woman. The word lesbian comes from the Island where she was born. It was very rare for a woman to follow classic studies, as she did because women were generally restricted from higher education and were relegated to getting married.

Sappho portrait
Credit: picture by Carole Raddato published May 2015

Third statement: It was also never about sex because sex was often found out of the marriage. There are wonderful frescos found in Pompei dated to the first century before Christ with scenes of the “Lupercal” house of appointments in Pompei.

Bedroom fresco from a house in Pompei
Credit: photo by CFCF. Uploaded by Jan van der Crabben, published on 20 August 2014

Humans followed the steps of the Gods as we today follow the example of the rich and famous, and as everybody knows, nobody was more of a Playboy than Zeus, his wife Hera had the unpleasant surprise to find him in bed once with the Aetolian princess  Leda with whom Zeus intercourse disguised as a swan, and as a result, two semi-gods were born from the eggs: Castor and Pollux

Photo: Leda e il cigno by Michelangelo National Gallery London

as when Zeus raped the young boy Ganymede in his homosexual experience, this time disguised as an Eagle.

The Abduction of Ganymede (ca. 1650), by Eustache Le Sueur

The fact is that in Ancient Greece the marriage was settled by socio-political reasons mainly as the work of the parents. Something similar to what still happens in India or Africa today.

There was a complete procedure to follow in case of orphans for example where the uncle had to decide the marriage, or in case of a widow if she couldn’t marry again and that she was very probably going to be destined to misery and solitude.

This is not the case with our Floridian silver haired widows that very often are having a great time at their second youth.

Credit: Walter Iznik photographer

As the founder of Beltempo, I have to say that I always believed in marriage and family, but for me, love and passion are something that goes hand in hand. Frank Sinatra’s lovely song “Love and marriage,” said: “Love and Marriage go together like a Horse and Carriage”. Who can forget the lovely satire about Marriage with the Sony TV series “Married with Children” with Al Bundy and Christina Applegate?

Credit: Sony Pictures, TV series Married with children

For me, it was and still is:  love for your family and passion for your work.

You may marry two or three times but that does not mean it was a waste of time. We learn from our mistakes, from history and we are part of that history.

Beltempo has created furniture to enjoy with your family and your companion and some items will help to keep the love thermometer high, or maybe just some tenderness or watching a movie on TV.

Because there are many spaces you may have not yet experimented with or fully used in your houses such as creating an outdoor movie theater or a covered and sheltered patio with a fireplace.

Credit: Beltempo image bank

Building a cozy mini-pool just for a couple of you with one of our twin sun loungers, where you will suntan together.

Credit: Fernando Salomon Photographer

During these Covid times, we reinforce our creativity and resilience, there is no reason why we can’t enjoy whatever we can get, and, for many years after, it will be a fond memory. You will still have a piece like the Matey’s bed double recliner to show to your grandchildren and say: “This is where your grandma and I used to spend a lot of time together; I wanted to read and she wanted to tan”.

Credit: Beltempo image bank

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